Fear of Drawing

In high school my best friend was working for the school paper. He asked if I wanted to draw a comic about prom and that he would put it in the paper. I agreed and got to work. He vouched for me and it got setup with the teacher and the rest of the staff.

I had so many thoughts going thru my head. Wow, I’m gonna be drawing for the school paper. Everyone is gonna see my artwork. I have to make the comic super funny. I worked on many ideas for the comic. The one idea that I kept coming back to was what if the roles were reversed and it was the girls that were asking the boys to prom. What if the boys were the ones with the power to reject a request. What types of “lies” would the guys come up with to say no to them.

I drew a bunch of guys telling their “lies”. There was one where a guy with short hair was telling the girl that he couldn’t go to prom because he was gonna cut his hair that day. Another were the guy said he was gonna go with all his guy friends as a group and no one was taking a date.

The deadline was approaching quick. I hated the drawings I was making, I felt they weren’t good enough. Then I started to get real scared. What if it wasn’t funny, what if people started laughing at me instead of the comic. What if people saw my artwork and started throwing up because of how awful the artwork was. What would people say. What if the girls would say, who would ever want to go out with that artist anyways.

And that’s the story I listened to.

I asked him later what happened when I didn’t turn up with the comic during 5th period. He smiled and said it was no big deal, the teacher made them all stay after school until someone came up with a comic to put into the newspaper. When I saw the one that ran, I knew mine would have been so much better. I think back on that often and wonder what if I would have drawn that comic.

Anyhow, I don’t like to dwell in the game of what if’s too long. I just want to apologize to my friend for letting him down that day.

carlos Written by:

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